Seriously, WTF is this thing?
It’s as I was warned, an indefinite stack of pictures, mostly featuring images of women with no tops to their heads, cut off somewhere between the eyebrows and the hairline, all to fit “the girls” in the picture. It’s not all, but definitely most. If you don’t want dogs don’t offer treats.
Initial Thoughts
While the women on Hinge seem to be mostly positive, there are those that are clearly disgruntled with either men, relationships, or dating, or a combination thereof, not that I blame them at all, but I would recommend that they have a friend proof their profile before carpeting bombing disdain all over their own profile. You can think it, you can feel it, and it’s all perfectly relevant, accurate, and valid… but you’re not going to attract what you want by giving a voice to the very thing that’s falling apart. Silence it, make it a deaf and blind mute, and exhale the things you want into that space… even if it’s a dating app.
More to follow. I’m just a couple days in. However, here’s a running list of things I think about when I see them.
- While I appreciate that people are learning the difference between their and they’re, and your and you’re, the use of the word “got” is pissing me off. You don’t “got kids” you “have” or “had” kids, unless the stork brought them to you. “Got” is primarily another word for “received,” and yes the phrase “he got me pregnant” is one of the worst structures for a sentence, and could be read as “he received me pregnant.” The word “got” has replaced multi-syllable words through laziness, replacing words like became, received, and others. While it’s technically correct use in all the aforementioned ways, it’s just lazy speech and not clever. Having said that, there are character limits on the app, so I understand why it may be being used.
This thing is super meh
Well, I’m not getting many matches. The matches I have made don’t reply, even to an initial message. I’m beginning to think all the excitement lies within the “I’ve been picked” and then people just want to see how many times they’re picked.
Also, I have had probably 50 likes sent my way… and here’s my though on what I’m seeing.
Preface: I’m no supermodel. I have a flat stomach but no six/eight pack, I’m 5’11” not a giant, I clearly have my teeth albeit I have a crooked one or two… but I know my range, what we guys usually refer to as being “in the ballpark” or “in my weight class” or other colloquial saying. Therefore, I bat within my league and I’m not swinging for the fences in the majors.
Does that stop some people? Hell. Fucking. No. I’m getting swiped by behemoth after wildebeest after Star Wars character (either Jabba the Hut or and Ewok or a WTF) and they’re like “wasssuuuuuup?” It’s clear that I’m a runner, I run a 10k every single day, and just looking at me you know I’m within height and weight standards on any scale, yet I’m primarily approached by those with a diet consisting primarily of gas station food, the snack isles at the grocery store, or any place that has ordering by meal number.
No, I’m not judging, eat what you want. Be as big as you want. Have the cholesterol level you want. I don’t care… just don’t bring it at me thinking we are going to match with these clear differences. I say all of this and haven’t even mentioned yet that I received a like with a message of, “are you really 5’11” or 5’8″ with boots on” when this woman is 5’2″, EASILY 200 lbs, spherical, and might be approaching the required celestial mass to generate her own gravitational pull, by which she’ll be orbited by Hostess products.
Beth the Arogant
Although we did not meet, we spent a couple of days chatting on the app, then she disappeared. Despite sending several messages, there was no reply. I then attempted to elicit an adult response by challenging her with a, “look, if you’re not interested anymore that’s ok, just tell me.” This prompt launched her into a long five-message monologue about how she has 485 matches that she hasn’t even gone through, and that while she hasn’t intentionally decided this… but she “guesses” (she doesn’t even know her own thoughts) that her strategy is “may the best man win, or assertive, or consistent…” and some blah blah blah. This struck me as “look at me, I’m so desirable that I’m overwhelmed.” What I thought was interesting was another message came in that said, “I know this sounds really arogant…” Yeah, you don’t say.
Well lady, I am not one that is going to add needlessly add stress to anyone’s life. So, instead of replying, I just unmatched, hopefully removing some of the burden on this poor woman.
I take her meaning, and cute as she may be, she’s no spring chicken herself (age) and just might “lack-of-action” herself into a lonely back nine. I mean, if you have a consistent one communicating with you and you can’t even communicate back for 4 days, then you lack the consistency he’s looking for.
This is rough. I have matched with six total people in this phone app and none have progressed to a date.
Ongoing Blah
I was going to list the results of what has happened on this phone app dating thingy, but it would be a full time job and I’m too busy for that.
In general, the messages go back and forth a couple of time, vague, generic messages, despite my questions, comedy, and stated desires to meet sooner rather than later to see if there’s chemistry.
I think it’s just a collection app, where people rate their popularity and seek validation from strangers, and see how big the collection can get… much like Beth above.
I have unmatched a very immature woman at 44 years old, a teacher, after discovering some immature things on her profile, and a travel nurse that I didn’t notice was a travel nurse, and everything in between.
By the way, I won’t date MOST nurses or ANY realtor, as those professions have the highest infidelity rate of any profession that females endeavor, even above flight attendants (also won’t date) and bartenders (case by case MAY date, as I have an interest there). I’ve been hit by that pitch before and I’m not stepping up to those plates again.
The only interest thus far, and not from a dating app.
I have a live, organic, “in the wild” interest (as of May 25, 2026) in one woman that I will not make the approach on. Here’s why.
If hot were a weight class, I have dated all over the place. In my younger years, I would partake in a system called “go ugly, early.” Yes, dick move, I’m well aware. This system required a keen eye and a little knowledge of psychology. I would scan the bar/club/target area for signs of 5/6’s with low self esteem/confidence… typically back to a wall, leaning against something, arms crossed, shoulders high, eye-line below horizon and constantly checking their attire to make sure most of their skin was covered.
Target acquired. Shots fired.
I’d be out of the bar with my cuttlefish and home before most of my friends had purchased enough alcohol to achieve even the slightest buzz.
I would later grow out of that and fire higher caliber shots. Using hand-to-hand combat terms, I’m a middleweight, and I’m usually squaring up with other middleweights, secure in my footing that I’m carrying equal class in 90%+ of the aspects, such as appearance, health, financial aspects, etc. However, I have swung on heavyweights with low percentage yields, but sometimes it works out. I have also gone down to lightweight divisions, but that ultimately has caused “Stage 5”-type situations and ultimately makes the juice not worth the squeeze.
Regardless of the class, I have to admit something. I’m afraid of women. In my mid 40’s, I lost 85% of my lifelong effort net worth, lost my dream home that we sold in the divorce for $2.2M, my 1974 Dodge Charger, my Lamborghini (I finally replaced it, albeit a little older/cheaper one), the “friends” that she got to keep (fair enough, they haven’t reached out anyway), and the majority of my lifestyle, because of infidelity… not on my part. It took years of voluntary therapy and not dating, standing myself back up, launching a couple of small businesses just to start rebuilding… just to feel some sort of normalcy.
I was so frustrated with the demise of the above, that while I was escaping a bad night at home, I stopped by a gas station where two guys broke into my truck and stole about $5k worth of shit in my backpack. I chased them down and almost killed them trying to get my property back… for which I almost got in a lot of legal trouble. It took me two years to get the charges dismissed from the incident, the whole “two wrongs don’t make a right” thing. Lesson learned, file an insurance claim and don’t almost kill two people, regardless of the day I’m having or what’s happening in my personal life.
My ex was physically abusive, having punched me in the face in our own driveway while trying to leave. She did not like getting caught cheating, a couple of times, with the guy she dated between her ex husband and me. At the time, a $50M collective net worth or not, doesn’t mean it doesn’t have trailer park problems. I never struck back, and I haven’t hit a girl since I was 11 years old and she was kicking my dog in the ribs.
So, they only women I’m interested in, and purely because of her physical appearance and cordial behavior… because I know next to nothing about her or her life, will go unapproached unless she makes the first move, and it would have to be an OVERT move.
Alas, my pets, work, daily 10k runs, and hockey continue to be my life.